Are you a strong and intelligent woman?
Of course you are!
Would you like to feel more empowered in your relationships and dating life?
I see you nodding your head.
Well hold tight my love as I am about to let you in on it…
For a while now my work and life has been leading me in a certain direction and this is it!
When I put the Healthy + Powerfully Feminine group program out there I wasn’t aware of exactly the type of woman it would attract but now it is becoming clearer and clearer…
I thought that women would want to be Healthy + Powerfully Feminine so that they could get out of the struggle of juggling responsibilities and working too hard and this is true.
I also thought it would attract women who had some food, weight loss or body issues and wanted to transform unhelpful habits and negative thought patterns to feel beautiful, confident and at peace so that they could get on with living their most excellent life. This too is true.
What I was not aware of was that who would be most attracted to being Healthy + Powerfully Feminine were women who felt disempowered in their relationships, dating and dealing with love, lust and men.
Because of working closely with these women and because of my own journey I can say that I know the struggle.
We may feel confident and powerful in other areas, like work and running a home, but when it comes to men we feel confident when they’re pursuing us and then when they aren’t, we crumble.
And get compulsive.
Okay it’s likely this is not true but the fact is we get compulsive when we’re not getting a response.
I know I’ve done it too – not 77, 000 times, but enough to make a guy think I was crazy.
And it isn’t even what can be seen but the turmoil that we go through on the inside.
Getting attached too soon.
Getting well and truly lost in our fantasies.
The thing when it comes to dating and relationships though is that you have to be your adult self.
But relationships can trigger those deepest emotional subconscious memories and we start acting from the place of our wounded child self without even realising.
Because it’s subconscious.
Did you know that most of your subconscious programming happens before the age of 7? And then 95% of the time we are following this conditioned programming and acting according to beliefs like “You don’t deserve that” or “You are a bad little girl”. We also have conditioned beliefs from the society we live in.
So without becoming conscious to how and why we’re acting in a certain way and transforming it, we are being ruled by conditioned beliefs and responses that we aren’t even aware of.
And so is he.
This is what I work with my private clients on – transforming those conditioned beliefs and behaviour and making the unconscious conscious – and so I felt motivated to write this article!!
Empowered Dating for Strong and Intelligent Women
1. Enjoy your Own Company
I went through a period where I was not enjoying being on my own, only I didn’t realise it until I realised it. Normally I love my own company!
But I didn’t want to look back and miss Switzerland, my life there or my ex- husband. So I kept attracting guys that were not available to me. Because of different reasons, I ended up alone on most Saturday nights, even though I was in a relationship.
After realising what I’d been avoiding, I could sink deeper into my feelings, and learn to love my own company again.
2. Text without Attachment
Despite the advice out there to never be the one to text (only respond), I prefer to text without attachment. When I shared this at The Art of Flow session on Wednesday, the women expressed that texting made them feel vulnerable and my response was that that’s because they were waiting for a certain response.
Texting without attachment means that we don’t feel like we’ve been sliced open when we don’t receive a response or it’s not the one we wanted. Okay sure it can be perplexing as to why the attention has stopped (I wrote about that before here), but I choose to be my cool funny self, knowing that not all guys will see me.
And if I really want to know I will ask.
Saying this, I also will not be the first to text again until he takes the lead and if there’s no response I won’t text again. But if I have something to express, I will express it – usually with humour and without blame.
Remember, no one ‘makes’ you feel a certain way. That’s your choice. You can feel more expansive by asking, ‘What if I just didn’t care about this?’
(I’m not talking about abusive relationships here either. I don’t have the experience or knowledge to speak about those).
Aaand I prefer this way of relating because if texting and being myself (not my compulsive self) turns off this guy, he’s not the one for me. Next!
3. Be Selective
When we stop trying to convince the ones who aren’t that into us how awesome we are, we are free to be ourselves and can attract someone who is compatible and interested. Remember…
Not everyone will see you.
Some guys might be attracted because you resonate with them sexually, but when it comes to emotionally, spiritually and mentally, you don’t resonate at all.
That’s why they don’t see you.
But it’s not about you auditioning anyway.
Write down what kind of guy you would like and keep it in your wallet so that you will remember the qualities, habits and beliefs that would be compatible with you – used more like a magnet than a shopping list. Barbara De Angelis goes way into this in her book Are You The One for Me? I can’t recommend this book enough!!
She outlines three essential areas for relationships to work – compatibility, chemistry and commitment.
A lot of women who come to me for coaching though, have the issue that they get attached too soon (before there is any kind of real commitment), they empathetically see the potential in this mate and understand the pain of where he’s come from (ignoring the fact they are not compatible in many ways) and get blinded by the chemistry they feel, mistaking lust for love.
It is possible to transform these patterns of behaviour and there are many resources and coaches out there to help you my love.
4. Work on Yourself
I see these kinds of postings on social media…
While this is totally true!! It is also only half of the story.
It’s not just that the guy is fucked up and can’t see you. We must also recognize that this guy is not only the one we’re attracting, but also the one we said ‘yes’ to.
So what are you here to learn?
There is often a self-worth piece as most women coming to get Healthy + Powerfully Feminine identify.
How much do you love yourself?
Do you truly know your worth? Do you feel it?
We get what we accept.
If you’d like to read my article on Why You Fell In Love with an A***hole, click here.
Often when we go through a break-up or actually anytime in a relationship, we may receive what we think of as ‘criticism’. I’d invite you to look at it in an empowered way and use it for your growth.
Consider whether it’s true and then how true it is rather writing it off immediately.
This involves having a healthy dose of self-esteem so that you can consider it objectively, why that person might think that, where they are coming from and taking on board whatever you need to and releasing the rest in order to evolve.
Without going into a downward spiral of self-doubt.
The question is not whether you are broken or not, it is whether you are conscious enough to recognize your own patterns and conditioning.
But when you have done the work on yourself (and are doing it), you will and should attract a guy who has too.
5. Know that there is Not Only One Guy Out There for You
There are millions of guys who’d love to date you!
Step outside and see how many amazing men are out there.
Not all of them are too busy with work that they don’t think to message you ever.
Do you feel it?
Probably not so much if you’d rather check your phone 5000 times and search social media like you’re working for the FBI than go outside and have some fun.
You have to make yourself available for it.
The second place to look are your (conditioned) limiting beliefs.
Let’s stop fixating on that one guy who doesn’t see us so we don’t miss the ones who do.
My dear, I have transformed a lot in a short amount of time. Why? Because I’m a strong and intelligent woman and you are too!
So if you are not feeling in your power, I invite you to push your shoulders back and step into it.
It is totally possible to make the unconscious conscious, transform that subconscious programming and start receiving the love and life you deserve. Being your intelligent self when it comes to love will mean that intelligent (and available) men will show up too. How awesome is that?
There are lots of exciting things happening round here as well! I am about to write a manual on How To Get Over Your Ex (using social media) because this is exactly what many of my clients need right now. If you would like to receive this, get on my mailing list at the bottom or top of this page.
If you would like to work with me privately 1 : 1 click here to take a look at my updated coaching page with details of my special offers and bonuses. If you are a man and would like to work with me I’m very happy to as well.
And it’s the last session for my Healthy + Powerfully Feminine Wednesdays in Fremantle on The Power of Celebration – how to maintain a high vibe on a daily basis through the Art of Living and the importance of celebration in the manifesting process. Click here to find out more and join.
Next up I’m bringing Healthy + Powerfully Feminine to you as an online group program. Click here to get on the list to receive your invitation too!!
Wishing you a beautiful Easter weekend!!