How to stop overthinking (+ thinking about your ex)

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Hello my love!

How are you?

Can you relate to the following?

I’m thinking that if you are reading this there is a good chance you can or could at sometime in your life!

Why?

Because you are empathetic.

And so many women come to work with me after they have gotten out of a relationship that really took them down.

Oh and nothing can take us down down down quite like our closest relationships.

So here’s another one for you…

If spending time with the person makes you too drained to do anything but go to bed and sleep for 12 hours after, well that is saying something!

Not even kidding. That story is true.

But it wasn’t just the other person’s ‘fault’.

Being healthy and powerfully feminine means seeing the bigger picture, getting the lesson and taking responsibility to course-correct.

If we find ourselves being drained, it is our work to learn to not invest so much.

Or not invest at all.

Anything that drains our energy, also affects our health,
our authentic power and our ability to manifest our desires.

The people we surround ourselves with is of the utmost importance!

We have to train ourselves to be different.

To keep our heart’s open without losing our heads and feeling the energy rather than the woozy ‘falling in love’ sensation that is just so addictively compelling.

I love this explanation from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth…

“In the early stages of many so-called romantic relationships, role-playing is quite common in order to attract and keep whoever is perceived by the ego as the one who is going to “make me happy, make me special, and fulfill all my needs.” “I’ll play who you want me to be and you’ll play who I want you to be.” That’s the unspoken and unconscious agreement.

However role-playing is hard work, and so those roles cannot be sustained indefinitely, especially once you start living together. When those roles slip, what do you see? Unfortunately, in most cases, not yet the true essence of that being, but that which covers up the true essence : the raw ego… its thwarted wanting now turned into anger, most likely directed at the spouse or partner for having failed to remove the underlying fear and sense of lack that is an intrinsic part of the egoic sense of self.”

 

 

But what about after the break-up, months after, when you find your mind stuck in a loop of happy memories and you begin to wonder if you should get back together?

You see the positives.

Maybe it could work this time.

But no! You know that’s crazy-making!

You know if you do it you’re blocking the healthy loving relationship that is coming your way.

And you’re undoing the work you’ve already done on yourself.

So what to do if you can’t stop thinking about that ex?

This was a question asked in last night’s Healthy and Powerfully Feminine Program and the following practice can be applied to anything and any drama you can’t stop thinking about.

First, admit that there is a part of you that likes the drama.

That’s your egoic mind.

And when you become aware of your egoic mind it ceases to have power in that moment – because the ego and awareness cannot coexist.

Let’s talk more about how the mind works…

Are you aware of the constant chatter?

That’s the egoic mind too – it is both the critic/judge and the chatterbox.

The chatterbox keeps you from your true essence just as the judge does.

Have you noticed how your mind jumps around from things you have to do to an argument  you had and what you’d say next time to past memories good and bad being continually churned up.

This is how we can find it hard to stop thinking and to stop thinking about that ex.

It feels uncontrollable.

Like maybe if this is what you’re thinking it might be true.

But this is how the egoic mind works.

You think you are thinking but actually thinking is just happening the same way that digestion and every other bodily function is happening.

Unconsciously.

You are not thinking. You have no control over it unless you become conscious to it.

That’s what we practice on the Healthy and Powerfully Feminine ProgramEmoji

Your true essence is as a being of love.

Your true essence is the presence that exists beyond your thoughts.

So how can we be Healthy and Powerfully Feminine Goddess Warrior Rulers of our minds?

The chatterbox is going to chatter away regardless so you’ve got to give it something good to chatter about.

The following practice will also help you slow down your mind and feel more peaceful, intuitive and creative because once you lesson the distraction, the voice of your Inner Guide can be heard more clearly.

This practice will also ensure you focus on what you do want, rather than on what you actually don’t want.

Focusing on what you desire

Step One : Sit in silence for 5 minutes and be witness to the thoughts and drama in your head.

Make brief notes as you sit so you you can continue witnessing your thoughts.

Step Two : Once you have finished witnessing your thoughts, flip it and write out what it is you desire instead.

For example, rather than focusing on your boss being mean and what you would like to say to him/her in a conflict…. You write ‘I desire to be treated with respect and love. I desire my boss and I to get on well. I desire a happy workplace.’

Or rather than ‘I can’t believe he’s such a selfish a*hole. Doesn’t he ever consider how I feel? When is he going to pay back the money?’ ‘I desire to be happy and free and peaceful.’ ‘I desire to be paid back easily and effortlessly.’

Step Three :  Create an affirmation to repeat, such as…

“I am treated with respect in a happy workplace and I get on well with my boss.”

“I am happy, free and peaceful and paid back easily and effortlessly.”

Step Four : Write your affirmations on a piece of paper and stick them by your bed to repeat before you go to bed and when you wake up to imprint it on your subconscious mind and on your day.

Also post it somewhere else in your home or office where no one else can see it preferably or have it as a 3x daily reminder on your phone (or hourly if you prefer).

Step Five :  Every time you catch yourself thinking about the drama and negativity, repeat your affirmation several times and take control of that wild beast between your ears!
You will find that just through taking deep breaths and the repetition of these words, you will quickly feel a whole lot better.

Because remember, you can’t change other people!

(especially not stubborn ones that refuse to even look at themselves)

But you can change yourself, your energy and your life.

If you actually do the practice and not just know it intellectually.

By changing what you focus on to what you desire, you will attract in more positive experiences and people.

Would you love to know more?

If you are in Perth or Fremantle I’m holding workshops on exactly this!

Click here to get more details and to register :

http://www.mireilleparker.com/groups/workshops

It’s so wonderful to connect with people in person and you get the added bonus of being in a high vibe space with like-minded women interested in their own evolution.

I hope these teachings and practice have been helpful to you and as always I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Have a beautiful week!

Lots and lots of love,

Mireille xxx

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