The gift of vulnerability : how to be ok with getting hurt

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This week I’ve been thinking a lot about vulnerability and witnessing its role in my clients’ and friend’s lives, as well as my own. Plus, with the full moon last Thursday it’s been a powerful time for deep healing and transformation. Why? Because the full moon brings emotions to the surface and perhaps a little bit of craziness too. We may feel exposed and vulnerable, but we’re really being shown old patterns of behaviour that can be understood and worked through, rather than ignored. That’s the beauty of the full moon.

And about that vulnerability issue, it’s been hard to avoid with this sign sitting right across the road from my house at a replanting centre :

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(Random right? But then again, so not).

Vulnerability is a massive gift.

But what does that actually mean?

Being vulnerable means revealing who you really are and what you feel, even though you have no guarantee of the outcome, which means there’s the chance of getting embarrassed or hurt.

Like …

Telling someone you love them for the first time.

Loving your child unconditionally but giving them the freedom to make their own mistakes.

Investing in a relationship that may or may not work out (i.e. all of them).

Telling someone how you really feel about a situation (like saying you’re not ok with something), even though you have no control over how the other person will react.

Pursuing a new career path and putting yourself  ‘out there’, perhaps going against what others have come to expect of you.

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The thing is that many of us try to protect ourselves because we are afraid of getting hurt. We make up excuses of why we can’t follow our dream career path, due to financial commitments, being too old and what not. I’m sure you can also relate to when you’ve closed your heart to protect yourself in love and thought that being strong meant being independent and not letting anyone else in. Right?

I remember the painful lesson as a teenager that ‘you can’t trust all guys’. Somewhere in all the fiction I read and all the Grease and Sound of Music I watched, I hadn’t learned that. I had my heart wide open, ready to receive a great love who would be like PK from The Power of One or the Canadian Swim Team in the 1994 Commonwealth Games (yep I’ve still got my old journals). Each mini or great heartbreak made me more resolved to trust less.

And while it’s good to not be a naive idealist in some ways, this open, loving place is actually our place of power.

Because there’s power in being loving while saying how you really feel, rather than closing yourself off and holding onto anger as way to protect yourself.

And only with our heart open can we actually experience great love, happiness, joy and gratitude.

Only when we are willing to take risks, can we really make huge leaps in love, career and life.

But in order to be vulnerable, we have to know that no matter what happens we will be okay.

No matter what happens I’ll be okay.

And for this we need the skills and tools to soothe ourselves in times of hurt and to build ourselves back up to our place of power.

That place of power is where we know that everything is happening for a reason and no matter what, we will get through it.

 

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So my loves, here are three practices to get you back into that place of personal power, to stay loving and open so that you can experience a whole rainbow of emotions and not be afraid :

 

AFFIRMATIONS

(go on you know you want to!)

It’s important that you are able to experience all emotions, even the negative ones, because they indicate what needs to be looked at and worked though in your life.

Perhaps you agreed to something that you’re actually not happy about and you’re starting to feel resentment – it’s never too late to remedy the situation if you are aware of what you are feeling.

Or maybe you are feeling dissatisfied at work and it’s time to make a change and take steps towards your true passion or find out what this is – again you can either numb it out with food, drink, medication, social media, TV etc or you can actually make some moves in the direction of your dreams.

There are often times though when your mind is going crazy with worry thoughts and you can’t seem to get out of fantasizing about the worst case scenarios. It’s time to take charge of that unruly beast between your ears and claim your power and peace back. So…

When in doubt, affirm it out.

(my god how fun is it to be a geek!)

When worried about a situation, locked in a crazy loop of negative thinking or going through a huge life change, you can lean on these :

I am grateful

All is well

Everything is working out for my highest good

Out of this situation only good will come

I am safe

I am an intuitive being of love and light

I am loved

I am love

 

I recommend going for a long walk in nature and repeating one affirmations for as long you can concentrate on it, before switching to another. I can spend up to an hour affirming it out when I’m walking at the beach, but even a 10 minute affirmation walk around the block can be miraculous.

 

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It’s the combination of movement, light, fresh air, beauty and nature that really works in shifting our moods and helps us to reprogram our thinking effectively.

 

CORD CUTTING

As humans, connection is everything. We’re actually neurologically wired this way so don’t try to fight it by thinking you have to be do it tough on your own.

Clients have said they have to ‘protect themselves’ and not trust so much, when they actually didn’t need this.

In order to keep our hearts open to new relationships, we need to know how to let go of the attachments we have to the past – whether it’s in love, work or with family and friends. Sometimes this can be hard if we feel like a relationship finished before it was completed. It can make us obsess. Know what I mean?

So this next practice is a way of completing a relationship, by cutting the cords of negative attachment.

It’s a 7:44-minute meditation/visualisation that you can access by clicking here : Cord Cutting Practice.

There are actually tons of these on YouTube but this is one I used recently and liked.

By releasing the old, the new can enter

(and we can stop obsessing! Yay!)

This practice can also be done for those who are still in our life, but we’re finding our attachment to them or how we expect things to be is stifling and suffocating the relationship and causing grief. You can practice cutting the cords of any negative attachment towards these people, in order to invite freedom and a fresh opened mind and heart into the relationship.

 

OPEN THE HEART

To open your heart, all you have to do is bring your attention to and breath into your heart chakra (located in the centre of your chest) and visualise it opening like a flower.

You can find a quiet space to do this in meditation or you can do it anytime and anywhere. You can do it right now or on the bus or walking down the street.

See your heart chakra open and practice sending and receiving love from this space with anyone you meet.

 

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You are love. So be it.

Being vulnerable means putting your ego aside and operating from this place of love, revealing who we really are, what we desire and how we feel. It allows us to be authentic, open and connected, to take risks and make progress. Now isn’t that a massive gift?

Sending lots of love and light to you,

Mireille xxx

P.S. Private coaching is a safe space and a sacred relationship in which you can explore your dreams and desires openly in order to create a life and career that you love. You’ll learn to reconnect to your feminine essence and your spirit and be held accountable as you take action each week so that you can be a magnet to all that you desire. As well as this, unhelpful behaviour and thought patterns will be identified and transformed so that you live a life of more ease, flow and grace.

If you would love a no-obligation complimentary discovery session to see what coaching with me could look like and how it could benefit you, I have 3 sessions available so click here to sign up and claim your spot.

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