It was a case of the romantic swimmers which sparked this latest episode. You know the kind. Couples swimming in pairs. Tandem. Synchronised. Arms around shoulders. Legs around waists. Drifting. Cocktails in hand.
Last Monday I wrote a short story for a competition and this was a part of it. It was so fun to write in the third person again! It’s actually my preferred mode of voice when writing because I love the ridiculous. My favourite books are satirical. You know the kind that says something so true about life that it’s funny?
Titles include The Great Gatsby (absolute favourite), or any of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s books, Lolita, The Virgin Suicides and Mr Peanut by Adam Ross. I also loved Eleanor Elephant is Completely Fine more recently. These are not my only favourites but in this category they are.
When I wrote Wonderlust, I tried to write it satirically in the first person but then I couldn’t relate to the main character so I made it less satirical.
Why am I writing about this now?
Last Friday I finished reading Powerful and Feminine (not for the first time but it’s been a while) and in the final chapter, Rachael Jayne Groover asks the question, WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE? Rather than thinking about what you want to DO.
ARTISTIC was the first mode of being that came out.
Because when I feel artistic I feel most alive.
On Monday I had that feeling after writing the short story.
The rest of the day, words descended upon me, and I continued to write a little more of the story in my journal in the afternoon.
I love that feeling.
In November I became completely obsessed with watching YouTube videos on the 90s grunge band Alice In Chains. Though I was into grunge around age 16, I wasn’t into them. But the story of the lead singer, Layne Stayley, captivated me.
I kept on watching.
One day I watched a half hour interview with the guitarist/songwriter Jerry Cantrell. But mostly I was intrigued by how most of the grunge bands had self-destructed through heroin.
Finally, I heard one snippet that felt like what I needed.
Stayley was talking about how, when they write lyrics, they keep it abstract so that people can relate.
I love the abstract.
I love the mystery.
That’s why sometimes I love to write my Instagram captions that way.
Reading such captions piques my interest and creates a stirring.
Hearing them talk about songwriting being an abstract process, ignited a desire to write in a more abstract way too.
Though having an undefined throat centre in human design means I am here to experience many modes of expression.
Learning this recently made me feel permitted to express myself in so many different forms.
On Friday I felt so frustrated by a situation with Midland Brick.
(The issue has been resolved now and I’d choose them again. It’s just how I felt at the time)
I tried to get into alignment and be present but it wasn’t working.
I hit the couch cushions (a la the Empower process) and felt somewhat relieved.
Finally, realising I love to be ARTISTIC, I took out my oil pastels and made some pictures.
That was the balm that I needed.
There were a few situations that came up and I allowed them to be on the paper, without resisting them.
And it felt so healing.
I haven’t done much art the last six months, after the fury of activity that was Locomotive Creations.
As I explained in one blog post back then, I don’t make art to get better at it.
I do it because that’s what I feel and I do it very quickly.
I like to see what emerges from the abyss.
My whole life I have been an artist in cognito, afraid to try when I have so many friends who are actual artists.
So posting it online was a way of recognising myself.
In terms of human design, I have the 48th gate, which is THE WELL – THE GATE OF DEPTH. Connected to the splenic centre (instinct/intuition), it is “an internal intelligence that cannot be grasped by the mind, and is only accessible to others when one is surrendered to the natural instincts of the body”. ~ Bunnell & Hu, The Definitive Book of Human Design.
The adjoining gate 16 of ENTHUSIASM – THE GATE OF SKILLS is “the great art of enriching life by harmonic channeling of energy”. I don’t have this gate but my boyfriend does and when you are in the presence of someone with your missing gate, you have access to it.
So once we’d met, I started making the art.
My boyfriend has both gates 48 and 16 and he has been recognised for his artistic skills as a DJ and an aerosol artist, chilli grower and coder.
“The key to successfully developing your talent is that you must be completely identified with something you love doing as it takes great dedication and constant repetition to achieve mastery.”
So it’s not true that I can’t become better.
It just wasn’t my purpose.
Besides my friends Shannah Mitchell and Alana Di Giacomo, my favourite artists are Jean Michel Basquiat and Picasso.
So that’s the vibe I was going for.
Last week I was watching my favourite dating YouTuber Shallon Lester and in the background she had a painting that was very bright, modern and colourful and that inspired my latest art work.
When I did the pictures earlier this year, it was after watching a video on fashion designer Paul Smith’s art collection where he said he bought a painting because he hadn’t seen a certain colour before.
And I thought, you can do that?
Another thing I often watch is interior design clips.
I love seeing how people live and the beauty and artistry of their inner spaces.
My favourite is called Une Fille, Une Style by Vogue Paris, where they go into the Parisian apartment of a female artist, designer, actor and the like.
But at that time, in March, I watched an interview of Sarah Jessica Parker in her New York Brownstone and in the background was a painting with a colour pink I just loved.
That sparked my desire to recreate it for myself.
And so Locomotive Creations was born.
Well, that’s my musings on being artistic for today.
I could go on and on.
Maybe I will.
Perhaps you need to give yourself permission to be more of what you desire too?
With so much love,
p.s. Wonderlust, starring a travel agent and an artist, is about the yearning for a creative life and feeling locked out of it. You can still purchase it from Amazon, just in time for the holiday season!