Wow! What a week this has been.
As you know, we began the Healthy + Powerfully Feminine Online Program 10 days ago so it’s very inspiring and rewarding to hear about the participant’s experiences and realisations after our first call.
Whoa did I produce a lot and lean in heavily on the creative process this past month!
When I originally wrote this as a Museletter to the women in my community, the rain was pouring down outside and I was looking forward to a day spent mostly in bed relaxing.
This came at a perfect time as it is the phase in my menstrual cycle to relax and rest.
Did you know we can optimize our life by living in accordance with our menstrual cycle? This is what I’m sharing with you today.
Recently a male friend told me I should definitely stop talking about my menstrual cycle with guys I’ve just met. But, it’s so fascinating that I just can’t help but share this! It can explain sooooo much!
Earlier this year, I went on a date with a guy who thought I was disinterested.
When I asked him after what was up and he told me that, I said “Oh it’s because I had my period. I felt spacey. I hadn’t spoken to anyone for at least 24 hours beforehand!”
Note to self : do not schedule dates during period.
I will explain…
I’ve been observing the phases of my cycle the past couple of months after attending an awesome workshop about Optimizing your Life according with your Cycle with Lucy Peach and it has been very comforting to clients and friends when I’ve past on this knowledge. It really explains a lot!
Lucy was teaching from the book The Optimized Woman by Miranda Gray and I also know that Claire Baker has been running workshops on this and is also launching an e-book going in depth on this. So check out any of these resources if you’d like to go further than what I’m telling you today.
Last Friday, after being pummeled so magically by a Chinese masseuse and sleeping so well, I woke up feeling so present and peaceful.
Why can’t I always feel this way?
That’s the question we often asks ourselves and, though there are dozens of factors at play, there are distinctive phases we experience when we are in tune with our menstrual cycle.
When I wrote this article, I was in the menstrual phase when I really don’t give too much of a crap actually. I felt like retreating and I couldn’t bring myself to face social media. I had nothing to say.
The Menstrual Phase
This is when we feel most spiritual, intuitive, reflective, dreamy, reflective and slow.
We should allow ourselves to rest and retreat and avoid social commitments because if we do that, then we will feel a lot more energized the rest of our cycle.
This phase is associated with darkness, and women traditionally bled by the new moon.
When I’m bleeding with the new moon, I feel more balanced in the amount I’m giving and receiving. Right now, as my cycle has switched to menstruating by the full moon, I realize I’ve been working a lot harder than when my body is more in balance. This is something I observed last year.
I also believe that when we allow ourselves to rest, we don’t suffer from cramps and other menstruating symptoms as badly and that cramping is a way of forcing us to rest.
The Dynamic Phase
The next phase of the cycle, lasting around a week, is the Dynamic Stage when we are the most hard-working. I also find I am the most picky during this phase.
When I was in Bali, the first day I arrived I was still feeling the effects of the menstrual stage so I felt rather spacey and present. Remember I wrote to you how I was enjoying sitting and staring off into space?
Love, Romance + Sweet Pleasure in Bali
After a day or so I moved into my Dynamic Phase, and then I found I wanted to work a lot and it was also hard to let go. I observed afterwards that during this phase, I like everything to be very neat (so I loved having only a carry-on bag to take care of). I can also get very frustrated when the results aren’t happening as fast as I would like.
Lucy said that this can be a problem during this stage, when you are super fast and with it and can’t understand why other people aren’t getting what you mean as quickly and keeping up.
I also find during this phase I’m not so great at public speaking. Perhaps if we are not able to explain ourselves as clearly during this phase, conflict may arise because of it.
You see how helpful it can be to have this knowledge?!
It can also be helpful to know this about those around you, even if you don’t bleed anymore or are on the pill so don’t feel these affects so much. And to know this about the women in your life. I often check which stage of their cycle my clients are in now when they share a challenge that relates to this. It helps a lot!!
The Social Phase
During the Social Phase, which is when we are ovulating, we are very social, tend to wear more revealing clothes, and I find, able to communicate really well.
I made this video during the Social Phase, when I’m naturally good at speaking and want to. Yes great to plan my workshops and any other speaking engagements for then too!
During this phase we want to go out and enjoy the big wide world so it’s great to schedule events and catch ups for now.
If you are ovulating by the full moon, then I imagine that if your sleep was disrupted, you wouldn’t mind as much as you’re energized by your desire to be out and about and perhaps not needing as much sleep.
The problem with this phase is that we may commit to things that we don’t want to do the rest of our cycle because we feel so loved up by this energy (like, as one friend experienced, committing to organizing her daughter’s school fete as well as doing the logo and branding).
You can pretty much tell where I am at with my phases by what I post on social media. Committing to a 30-day post everyday Gratitude Challenge – social phase. Wanting to hold a massive talk for 100 people and organize it all myself – social phase.
I also find I do my most over-sharing on social media during this phase!! Good to be aware of.
There’s a part of me that wants to say ‘be careful what you post because you may reveal more than you’re comfortable with otherwise’ (ahem) and another part that wants to say ‘fuck it let’s embrace our authenticity’.
But you may be wondering…
What is our authentic selves if we are always changing??
All of it!
Embrace your wild, beautiful woman!!
I am woman and I am free to be whoever I choose to be.
I am woman, I have emotions and those emotions enrich our lives.
The freedom comes when you are able to feel and express those emotions without attaching to them or projecting them onto others.
Your emotions can make you exciting and dynamic.
Think of those sexy Italians.
The Creative Phase
The last pre-menstrual stage is actually our Creative Phase and if you put your energy into a creative project you’re passionate about at this time, you won’t feel as irritated.
Lucy said she scheduled in her song writing time during this phase and by the end of the year had two album’s’ worth of material.
This is also the phase when we stop putting up with what we’ve been tolerating the rest of the month, so though we may get angry, it has a good purpose.
Because as women we tend to go with the flow and accommodate others A LOT so… what’s wrong with stopping that and reassessing once a month??
One really interesting thing Lucy said too was that when you have a big decision to make, work it through your whole cycle.
Yes!! I don’t know how many boyfriends I broke up with during my pre-menstrual stage!! Obviously all for the best in the end but… How many ‘Well maybe we should just break-up’ conversations I had because of being in this phase!! So de-stabilising to a relationship.
If I had known I was experiencing those feelings because I was in the pre-menstrual phase, I could’ve avoided having the conversation until I was in a different stage of my cycle, after seeing if I still felt the same way.
Have you experienced this too?
My dear Goddess, can you relate?
I’d love to hear from you! Just reply in the comments and let me know. Or for any reason!!
At the time I wrote this to my Museletter babes, I said… Ooh I’m off to snuggle down now and listen to this beautiful rain as I retreat into myself…. now, in my Dynamic stage, it’s more like off to finish 5 things on my to-do list in the next 20 minutes!!
Wishing you the most beautiful day!!
From my wild and powerful heart to yours,
Yes, I totally relate to your findings. I achieve very little when I am menstrual. I used to get annoyed with myself as I am naturally a high achiever, but since I have discovered the link I am happy to let go of my need to get things done. I keep track of my cycle through behaviour more than timing… I recognise eating patterns as well: the moment I crave comfort food I know it won’t be longuntil I bleed. When I am ovulating I crave fresh fruit and vegetables, wholesome and healthy…
Hi Hester! I don’t know why I never replied. I suppose I didn’t see your comment! Three years later.. yes it is awesome when we know the reason why, isn’t it?! Revolutionary! Sounds like you have it handled and deliciously. Lots of love xx