relationships Archives - Mireille Parker

Which Power Drama Are You?

When I was 16, I got with this guy and, as was my way, became obsessed with him. The next weekend I left for a month-long French exchange to La Reunion island, next to Mauritius. As part of the trip we did a hike down a volcano with the whole group of 30 or so students from across Perth. When they called out a girl’s name with the same surname as my obsession, my ears pricked up and my heart leaped. So I went to talk to her and we walked through the jungle, making our way down the volcano, together.

This was when she told me of Celestine Prophesy, a book that had changed her life and reflected the environment we were in. Over the years I did think to read it but it was only seeing it on Helle Weston’s instagram in 2017, aged 38, that I actually did go out and get it. Psychiatrist Carl Jung describes synchronicity as a meaningful coincidence and James Redfield, the author, says it is the first stage of spiritual awakening.

The way the book came into my life was synchronistic. That guy I got with, I hadn’t been into, but he was pursuing me, and it turned out he was friends with some family friends and we had known each other in my early childhood. Maybe if not for all this, I wouldn’t have heard of the book then. When I wanted to track it down at age 38, I had the inkling to go to a particular second hand book store on the way to have my photo taken.

Following the brain surgery, I had been asked by someone who’d been on my Healthy + Powerfully Feminine course if she could take my photo for this series she did. She asked me to pick a spot in Perth I loved and I could only think of Green Space Reserve, a secluded grass embankment by the river. It was only when I opened the book, to something aptly describing issues with my ex-husband, that I realised it would have been my eighth wedding anniversary that day and I was exactly in the place where we’d gotten married.

All this to say, which power drama are you? Redfield describes four that match. Learnt from childhood, as a way of gaining power, we play out either the Interrogator/ Aloof or the Intimidator/Victim. If someone is interrogating, the other gains power by being aloof. Or interrogating back. Or two people may both act aloof. Likewise, if one person is intimidating, the other may act like a victim to gain power. Or may be intimidating too. Or both could act like victims. Immediately I thought of an ex playing the victim, which meant that I must be an intimidator too!

I knew I’d acted like a victim at times, till I manifested breast cancer at 34, then read Carolyn Myss’s Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, and stopped it. But I hadn’t thought of myself as playing the intimidator. Alas, it was true. I could shout and criticise, but more often shut myself off, build walls around myself, cut people off. “I don’t need you” is also a form of intimidation. The real way to gain power is to love, Redfield says. And though, I definitely believe we still need boundaries and standards, becoming conscious to this pattern of behaviour was definitely a step in the right direction.

What power drama are you?

With so much love,

Mireille xx

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Love to feel peaceful and happy but too busy to do anything about it? Tired of the turmoil? Discover how to train your mind in 20 minutes a day to experience presence and flow, happiness and harmony, no matter what is happening around you with metastatic breast cancer warrior and author, Mireille Parker.

Get Master Your Mind : Create Peace Within here!

Sarah can’t escape herself, even overseas. Will she call hot Oliver? Who doesn’t even know she’s there! But who is this beautiful artist Bonnie? Set in Lucerne, Switzerland, and starring a travel agent from Perth, Australia, Wonderlust is a unique modern philosophical romance about creative women.

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My Best Relationship Advice

My Love,

It feels scary to write this. My best relationship advice? Ego says, “You’re no expert!” No. But I am a keen student. The truth is that I’ve spent the last five years learning about and observing dating and relationships. So I am offering you some of what I’ve learnt today.

1. Go to sleep angry. The experts may disagree but for me this works. In law of attraction terms, we receive thoughts according to our vibrational reality. So when we are tired we have lower quality thoughts. Plus, when we hold a thought for 17 seconds, it gains momentum, and attracts thoughts of the same frequency. That’s why transformation gurus like Tony Robbins swear as a pattern interrupt. We’d only have to focus on something else for 17 seconds, like our lovely comforting pillow, to create that for ourselves. In the morning, we wake with new perceptions and fresh thoughts.

2. Feel your feelings and express them. Realise that the other person is most likely doing their best too. Don’t assume they have bad intentions. Communication is key. For a guy, they talk best while doing other things, like having a beer or playing golf. People are also more open to suggestions when you see the good in them also. Start with something like “This isn’t your fault. It’s just that I noticed..” or “I really appreciate how you.. and also it would be great if we could..” Saying we makes it less blameful. These are techniques of a master negotiator. I know. I’m not perfect at it either. But still.

3. Communicate your desires and needs. Otherwise we become resentful and then that seeps out or explodes at inappropriate times. The subconscious mind is seeking an outlet for these suppressed emotions. But then we hate ourselves and wonder why we are so angry. Learning to communicate my emotions and what I want has been such a game changer for me. It’s made me a much happier person and way better to be around. That’s why I created the Empower guide to help.

4. Learn how your partner experiences love and give it. Your man may protest, but if you don’t know what his love language is, you can take this test to find out. Learn what yours is too or, even better, get him to ask you. Yes he may hate it but tough. This is important to you. Express it. My love language is words of affirmation. If he forgets? You can remind him. Not all the time, just occasionally. And yes you can teach an old dog new tricks.

5. See the positive. I don’t mean blindly see the positive as I used to do. That might mean you make yourself susceptible to narcissists and players. But if you are in a happy and/or committed relationship, by making lists of their positive aspects, you begin to see it more. You could even list out their pros and cons and you’ll probably find that the pros is much longer than the cons.

There you go my dear, as I said, I’m not a qualified expert but these are five tips that have helped me. Relationships are such a key area that can lift us up or bring us down like little else. And the crazy thing is, we don’t usually learn how to be good at it. But we can. Learning to manifest too has been so helpful in creating a constructive relationship and in becoming the person able to receive it.

With so much love,

Mireille xx

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Why Shit Happens.. Even When You’re A Manifesting Ninja!

My love,

I’m feeling really excited because I’ve finally finished Loving! It’s a transformational guide about loving yourself, loving your life and manifesting. I wanted to include all I would include if I ran a course again. I first learnt about the power of the mind and energy to manifest when I was 24. But actually I started doing it much younger, from age eight, when I started dancing.

Too tired to practise, I’d lie in bed and rehearse the steps in my head. Then when I went to do it, I’d be able to as if I had been physically practising. Then when I was 12 I won the cross-country. I hadn’t been so great at athletics till the year before. Dancing 13 hours a week made me super fit. But there was one other girl who was better than me at the cross country. I prayed and visualised winning, just like with dancing (aka imagining), and I did.

When I started my coaching business in 2014, I’d teach manifesting through my course, workshops and private coaching. But after the breast cancer metastasised, I got shy about it. I felt like I’d failed, when really it was just that Life had more to teach me.

During that period I had off, I learned about the art of simplicity and organisation and implemented it. This is a key aspect of manifesting too because when we’re stressed, we’re not in alignment. I was using ‘the power of joy’ then to build my life back up, but better than before. Soon, I learned that this was the law of attraction and I spent a few years studying and practising this.

Why does shit happen (even when you’re consciously creating)? Because the purpose of life is to awaken into consciousness and everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you are not ready for what you want so you get the letting in process. There is usually a silver lining. Feel your emotions and process. But then, know that everything happens for you and not to you. Our souls need to go on a journey to fulfil our life’s purpose.

Why am I so passionate about manifesting? Because, like you, I’ve had some huge challenges in life to overcome, like cancer, and because I have a low tolerance for living a life I don’t love. And being a person I don’t love. And being around people who aren’t good for me. I majored in psychology at uni and have been interested in the mind since before then. Plus, I hate to see other people suffering and would like to share what I know and what I do.

I’ve included my 11-step formula for manifesting in Loving and 4-step process for manifesting on the go. But first there is work to do to get to that. It’s 55 pages and available for immediate download. I’m feeling very happy and proud of this guide. It’s a transformational journey.

With so much love,

Mireille xx

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Get Master Your Mind : Create Peace Within here!

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Married At First Sight : Intuition & Receiving

Dear friend, have you been watching Married At First Sight? I didn’t know what to write to you about today so I will write about this. Last Monday I woke at 4.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep so I ended up reading Rich As Fuck and then I felt the urge to look at Amanda Frances’s instagram, which I resisted at first, and from there I had the urge to look at Katrina Ruth’s account, which I resisted at first too. But I read a post from her saying to teach what has been most transformative in your life.

At first I wasn’t sure what has been most transformative in my life. There are things that I’m practising but am not 100% sure about, like the law of attraction. Then there are things that I’m writing my books about but haven’t wanted to write here because I’d rather tell it as a full story. But over the week, it became clear that learning about love and relationships has been the most transformative thing in my life. I started off so bad at it and was for a very long time. But in the last five years this is really what I’ve been studying and practising behind the scenes.

And though my ego was saying “no, no.. I don’t want to teach!” that little call of the soul was saying go on, step in gently. So today, I again had no clue what to write but here it is. My head wanted to write about Married At First Sight but it was only a way for my heart to speak. Intuition feels like a push from the heart to me. It’s a physical feeling, which I practise tuning into. If I have to decide between two things or where to park, what to eat, I’ll ask my heart and listen to the feeling. Left or right, I ask, and I get an impulse or an answer of right or left. Know what I mean?

Jess Lively has said, “The ego pushes, the soul calls” and sometimes I haven’t been so clear on what this means. But I guess it is exactly what I’ve just written about. My mind wants a good night’s sleep and decides I shouldn’t look up the Married At First Sight cast before bed because I wake up at 4.30am alert, my brain churning with ideas. But sometimes this is a good thing. One thing I feel for sure is true from the law of attraction (Abraham) teachings is that we receive thought, according to our vibrational frequency. That’s why I don’t think about important things at night when I’m tired or have critical discussions then.

But these little bread crumbs, one thing leading to the next, that morning at 4.30am, felt like part of a manifestation for sure, leading to me here, with more to come. Over the week other pieces started to come together, as ideas formulated out of the abyss. Abraham says that thought is manifestation, and sometimes you are not ready for your desire so you get the letting in process instead. These past five years have been a letting in process, a learning, an education, stepping stones on a path of discovery, still continuing. But getting closer it seems.

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Thank you!

Lots of love,

Mireille xx

p.s. You can find me on Instagram here or for my art, Locomotive Creations, here.

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Love to feel peaceful and happy but too busy to do anything about it? Tired of your turmoil? Discover how to quickly train your mind to experience presence and flow, happiness and harmony, no matter what is happening around you with metastatic breast, cancer warrior and author, Mireille Parker.

Get Master Your Mind : Create Peace Within here!

Get Wonderlust here!

What if LOVE is the way?

My love, what if love is the way? I have no idea what I’m going to write here, I only know that this is what is coming through. Recently there have been a few situations where I felt fear and anger but after feeling that on my own, I responded with love. And it felt so good!

How I did it was I went to the beach for a walk after journaling out my feelings. From there I was trying to get to a place of love and peace but still felt the tight ball in my gut so I started to walk and, rather than saying affirmations for what I am calling in right now, the only thing I could bare to repeat is “I love you X”. X being the person’s name who had incited the fear. And as I walked, I continued to say I love you and I really felt it. Because all we are under our hard exteriors is five-year-old children wanting to be loved and accepted.

Loving this person and drowning out the fear felt expansive and so hard to put into words but in the end, powerful and mature and effective. When fearful thoughts crossed my mind as I went about my day, I repeated “I love you X” and felt it. When the opportunity came to communicate with this person, again I responded with love and I will keep on doing this. I’m not always mature or even tempered but I’m certainly a lot better than before and this situation certainly turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as always.

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Thank you!

Lots of love,

Mireille xx

p.s. You can find me on Instagram here or for my art, Locomotive Creations, here.

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The Topless Barman Bandaid Story!

The most action I’ve had in 20 months was with a topless barman at my cousin’s tropical themed hen’s party. Oh sure there were plenty of offers in Bali. All the fuckboys. All the come back to the villa guys. Till I got smarter. And knew.

Amanda & I went early to the hen’s party, ten years older than the rest, we thought we’d skip the entertainment and just be there for the send-off. But no, there were games. This one we had to stick a band aid on this muscular man, the newby, embarrassed. I thought to stick mine on the hair of his upper thigh but instead chose just above his hip bone.

Phase two, we had to take it off with our teeth. One had stuck it on his penis. She didn’t use her teeth. I did. Slowly. The second last. No laughing. Lips to hip. Later when I asked him in the kitchen, he said he’d recently joined up after farming for years. Showed me his Instagram and said he was working at the Voodoo Lounge, later. Stripping. I didn’t think much of it at the time. Now I do.

How To Get Over An Ex!

‘What we resist persists.’

Once upon a time I had a video on YouTube called The Art of Getting Over An Ex and then I went and accidentally deleted all my videos on the path to here, but a month back I saw a story on the news about an ex murdering his ex’s new boyfriend and it makes me so sad to hear this. Getting over an ex is how I began my personal development journey and learned how to train my mind so it didn’t drive me mental. That’s why I put out Master Your Mind : Create Peace Within so quickly.

We are magical.

But How To Get Over An Ex?

1. Allow time and space to feel.

Apparently it takes half the time of your relationship to get over someone. I’ve had shorter ones that took longer and also those that really took no time at all. But when you ignore it, if it affected you, it will still be there waiting for you and come out the moment you are still.

When I first moved back to Australia, I tried to just get on with my life. I was so busy I barely had time to think about it. Didn’t want to. But it was there under the surface. Then I got into other relationships and had to get over those also. Finally Life forced me to feel the damn thing. If you want my process for feeling and releasing feelings get it here.

2. Focus on the negatives.

I don’t think I’ve ever done this but there’s so much value in the pros and cons list. Once you see it there, you can decide which is better and move on. I know this sounds so logical and feelings aren’t like that but our feelings can be caused by thoughts and we do have ways to change them or just allow them without reacting.

Focusing on the negatives of a person or situation is a way to create new neural programming. Right now your mind might keep bringing up the positives because the ego’s job is to keep us safe and “better the devil you know” as it goes. Each time you think of that person positively, you have to replace the thought with a negative. It doesn’t mean the person is bad, it’s just a way to stop your mind from tormenting you. Train that beast.

3. Remove the apps.

If the problem is obsessing over the person online, give yourself a no checking 30-day challenge and mark it off on your calendar. This weakens the neural programming and dopamine hit you’re getting clicking on that person’s page. That will only continue the attachment. It doesn’t have to be forever. You can also have a friendship in the future but if you’re creeping round the internet and causing yourself pain, stop it.

4. Realise what you’re resisting.

What we resist, persists. Ask yourself, preferably write it down, “What am I resting here?” Once when I was struggling to get over a person, I asked myself this question and had the epiphany that I was resisting that this person did love me anymore. That he didn’t find me attractive. That he was more interested in other people. What freedom. Like the negatives, you could write a list of what’s perfect about your current situation and accept it.

5. Be present.

There is a space between the action (or thought) and the reaction, and if we sit in it, it grows. Meditation is so helpful in learning how to do this or , as I wrote last time in how to turn fear to faith, imagine a bulldozer pushing the thought out of your head.

Of course feel your feelings and release them, but don’t get tangled up in repetitive thinking. Sometimes my mind likes to bring up the past and I just get curious about it. What’s Psyche wanting to show me? Is there something I still need to deal with or is it just fun? Just boredom?

6. Go outside.

Or dance or clean a cupboard. There’s a time and place for distraction. Going outside reminds us what a wonderful world we live in and it shifts our vibe (like the dancing or cupboard cleaning) so we actually do receive different thoughts.

7. Create your magical future.

Focus on your goals and dreams and work on creating those. Every ending is a new beginning yo. Write as if you’re three months in the future about all that you have done and received during this time. There’s a whole world of development at our fingertips. Remind yourself of the powerhouse that you are (You the Queen) (or King). Decide who you want to be from now on and be it.

I hope you enjoyed this and I hope it helps. It’s been awhile!

And if you’d like to join the 30-day Master Your Mind Challenge, there’s still time. We only started yesterday.

1.Get the Master Your Mind : Create Peace Within book.

Just 20 minutes a day. It’s a book for busy people!

2.Follow my MasterYourMindBook on Instagram.

Love,

Mireille xx

p.s. Join here to stay tuned for Thursday when I’ll be posting How To Have Courage! And do like and share this post please. I hope to live in a world where exes can sleep soundly.

The witty and intelligent novel about a travel agent from Perth, Australia, who goes to Lucerne, Switzerland, seeking a deeper experience of life and finds love in a most unusual place. Set in 2007, Wonderlust is a journey of food, sex, body obsession, refugees, writing and reality TV. It’s the really interesting conversation you wish you were having!

Get Wonderlust here!

Wonderlust is number ONE in Women’s Action & Adventure!!

People have been asking how Wonderlust is doing in sales and until now I didn’t know. But yay! I can tell you now that Wonderlust in digital is #5430 in Women’s Action & Adventure Fiction on Amazon!

Why am I excited about this? Because that’s out of the whole world, hello?! And also because it’s ranked #20,000 etc in the category of coming-of-age. I’ve looked out the competition and 5000 is doable! With your help!

So the title of this article is more of a “I see it, feel it, taste it” kind of thing. I’m also quite thrilled the category is women’s action & adventure. I specialise in adventures! Action though? I’m more of a sleepy slug but I’ll take it.

Anyways, this is how Wonderlust begins..

Das Vorwort = The Prologue

It was a Saturday night in May when the epiphany rolled into the living room. My parents were out and I was home alone watching the E-special on the life of Oprah Winfrey. As I sat there sinking further into the couch, the credits began to roll and admiration for Oprah’s life turned into desperation for my own. At my age, Oprah was semi-famous and celebrated. She was already a news anchor and had achieved what any of us would consider our life’s pinnacle. If I hadn’t got up and taken action, I might have remained in my lethargy forever, watching entertainment television and picking at my toenails. Sure, I’d had this thought on a thousand Saturday nights before, but this time something had changed on the inside. I felt such clarity, when a moment before there had only been fuzz. Something had popped. I was on. Scrambling to my feet and wiping the sleep from my eyes, I ran to the computer and googled my little heart out. It felt good!

That night I fell asleep dreaming of better MEs, emerging from an ocean of advice, tossed on the tidal waves of new promises. And look, here I am now. I’ve written a whole sea of words. It’s nothing compared to the Oprah.com superhighway, but I gave up comparing somewhere between here and the end of this book. I am ready to reveal all now – congealed intestines, fatty liver, stomach acids, cholesterol-encrusted veins – all of it!

Writing became my way of understanding and explaining myself. No one listens too well these days – and I wanted Bonnie to listen most of all. Bonnie woke me up from the numbness of sleep, an electric shock back to life – a scrambling of the past and reprogramming of the present. If you see her, please tell her I made it. She was never too up with the mainstream. You’ll know her if you see her – lit by flames, a crowd standing in her light. At least I hope it’s still so.

Read the rest of the sample here. The paperback will show up again in a couple of days if not now but the digital is available as always.

With your help Wonderlust will be a bestseller! And I can keep writing and producing my books 🙂 Well, I’ll do that anyway but Wonderlust being a best-seller will be pretty cool, don’t you think?

Lots of love,

Mireille xx

p.s. Please like and share this post or Wonderlust on Amazon. Word-of-mouth is so powerful. Thank you!!

Channeling the Creative FLOW

I felt to write about creative flow today because that’s what’s flowing. Half an hour ago I didn’t know what I was going t write about and wondered if I should. But do you know what I did then?

I let go.

Life is always conspiring to help us, but sometimes we don’t hear the indications because we are hell bent on something happening a certain way (and now!).

Know what I mean?

But the vibration of the problem is not the same as that of the solution.

What this means is that when we are stuck in the problem, trying to get our computer to work over and over or whatever, we cannot receive the solution.

Receive the solution. Yes!!

We receive thought we don’t think it, according to our vibrational frequency.

(Gotta love Abraham, right?)

So when we step away, go for a walk, have a new conversation, distract ourselves, sleep and what not, our vibration can rise and we are able to be at the frequency to receive the solution.

Bam!!

I love how the mind works!! I love how creativity works!! I love how energy works!!

This week I was talking to an artist friend about creative flow and I told her I honestly have not felt blocked in the twelve years I’ve devoted to writing. But now that I think about it that’s not entirely true.

I was blocked for a year when I tried to write in a way that wasn’t me and I did experience the little blocks when I really wanted a certain result or put too much pressure on myself. Then I wouldn’t know what to write about until I took a nap and let go. Such was the feminine art of business.

Anyways, today I just shut the laptop, got out my journal and asked God or Spirit or myself or whoever it is I write to there (all of the above) what to write about and it flowed.

Relaxation has a laxative effect.

Mireille does the law of attraction 🙂

So it was with the course I’m putting together. I spent a day by the beach (a whole day!! So not Perth) and then the parts started coming together piece by piece.

I want to help people to be in a high vibrational state by clearing the obsessions and distractions that’s bringing them down (like the ex) (or that one guy you went on a date with and never called back) (those things are not worth your vibe). But how to clear them? Mind training.

I want to help others tell their story, now that I’m done with telling mine. Some said, oh must’ve been so cathartic and yes it was! It’s so clearing and so healing to make meaning of your life.

Others said, oh I’d love to write my story but I’m not disciplined or I don’t have the time or I can’t write or I don’t have the confidence. Yes, I’ll address all this too as this is all something that can be developed.

I don’t believe you have to be born with talent. I have found it can definitely be developed and actually it’s often not the natural best ones that persevere to make it. They may slack off and not even reach their potential.

Discipline can definitely be developed and time is made, not given.

I’m excited to share more with you in the coming weeks!!

Till then, I wish you a powerfully magical week!

Do let me know if anything I shared made you ponder or wonder and if you have a story to tell me, write back and share it.

With so much love,

Mireille xxx

I had brain surgery… and now I’m back!

That’s right I’m back!!

Have you missed me?

You may have been following me on social media and know where I’ve been for the past 3 months.

In case you haven’t, I’ll explain briefly.

I had brain surgery!!

Remember how I was having migraines?

Well I tried acupuncture, got glasses, visited several GPs and even wrote this article (entitled ‘I felt like I was dying’)

Basically what happened is that after 3 weeks of intense migraines I went to get an MRI on a friend’s recommendation and after visiting another GP to ask for it (I went to 3 GPs, 2 accupuncture sessions, one eye-test, one eye specialist and one occupational therapy session in those 3 weeks).

Half an hour later I was called back to the GP, went straight to the neurologist and found out I had a tumour the size of half a fist but luckily it was outside the brain and operable.

That night I was administered into the hospital and two days later underwent the 7-hour operation.

I really had no clue about what it would be like. I was simply very happy as you can see in the video I made an hour before my op. You can watch it here

Anyway, it was quite a shock to wake up and I didn’t even realize I wasn’t feeling completely myself until some weeks later.

So now it’s been three months and it feels strange but good to be back.

I’ll be going slowly (in terms of marketing especially, but am happy to take on clients). I’ve had lots of time to reflect and really simplify what I’d been doing in my business.

I’m excited to bring you more in the coming months on Body Love, Self-Love and Romance.

(yes with life, yes with yourself, maybe even with another).

And of course I have much more to share about these past 3 months. So many lessons, life-changing moments, magical happenings, emotional break downs and break throughs, much to be grateful for, lots to navigate and come to terms with, a whole lot of TV and even a bit of romance. Seriously!!

Well, if you’re going to call yourself a Spiritual Goddess Warrior Queen, expect to be tested 🙂

If you would like to follow more of my journey, you can follow me on Instagram-where I share most intimately

or on Facebook – I made a video this week on how illness can be for our evolution (and some of the emotional causes for the tumour and breast cancer 3 years ago).

I’d love to connect with you too and have been so amazed at all the support and well wishes I’ve received from so many kind and loving souls.

Likely this is you too and so I thank you so much beautiful!!

From my wild and powerful heart to yours,
Mireille xxx

p.s. I’ll be sending a Museletter each Sunday so please subscribe if you would love to receive it. You can also get the Be Queen of your Love Life ebook gift here and join our Healthy + Powerfully Feminine private Facebook group here.
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