What if embarrassment is the way?
I don’t know about anyone else but maybe embarrassment is the way for me. On Friday I did something that I felt very embarrassed about. Oh it made my stomach clench. But I did it anyway. That’s right, I invited people to like my art page on facebook.
Oh it was so embarrassing as I went through the list of Facebook friends, some of them I particularly thought, This person is going to think I’m a dick.. This person is going to wonder wtf I’m doing.. and so on. But I did it anyway, because it’s only embarrassing for the moment. And maybe what I want is on the other side of this embarrassment.
I’ve been thinking about audacity lately. It’s probably what this year is about for me, I realised on Friday. I also felt embarrassed about announcing that I wanted to learn 7 languages. But you know there are some people out there who really aren’t that good, they’re not the best by far, but they have the AUDACITY to follow their dreams and put themselves out there, where they need to be. And maybe that’s me.
Someone said to me about my art that if I practise a lot, I’ll get better. But what if I don’t want to get better? What if being a bit shit is my thing? What if I’m a natural? I don’t want to make perfect art. I want to make what wants to come out. Including the mistakes. I want to make the imperfection part of the creation. And yes I have the audacity to call it art out loud even!
Maybe that’s it.
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Lots of love,