My word and intention when I was travelling, for my body too, was HARMONY and I feel it is my goal for the year. It is what keeps coming through.
So in the interest of harmony, I’ll share what I’ve learnt about why men get grumpy, because it’s been so enlightening for me and led to more harmonious relationships with the people I am closest to. Perhaps if you’re a man wondering why you get grumpy, it can help you too.
I share it in case it helps you have more harmony too. If you don’t relate to it, no problem. Take what applies and leave the rest.
Have you ever seen the YouTube clip of that scientist showing the difference between men’s and women’s brains? He’s quite funny showing how in women’s brains everything is connected to everything else, whereas in men’s brains, everything is in a completely separate box. So he’s either in the work box or the relationship box, for example. That’s why he forgets to text you during the day at work. Or why he leaves the baby’s diapers at home when he’s coming to meet you. That kind of thing.
Or loses track of the story you’re telling.
His nervous system is not designed that way. In Why Women Talk and Men Walk : How To Improve Your Relationship Without Discussing It (Best book ever!!), Love and Stony explain how, from the time of the apes, the tribe would be sleeping and the females would hear a noise and panic. The males then would jump up and leap into action, defending the tribe, without even knowing what had happened.
This is why men (or at least some of the ones I know) like to do the same thing and go the same way or take the direct path, the planned route, and not deviate. Change means that they get a hit of cortisol, the stress hormone, which makes them grumpy, because it is supposed to propel them into action.
Since learning this a few years back, I have observed how sometimes I’ll tell a man some news, even good news, and he’d be irritated. When I was younger I used to wonder why he was being such an A-hole. But now I know better. I wait for a few minutes or so, maybe the next day even, and then he is able to respond appropriately.
When I reacted to his cortisol hit anger, it created more negative emotion, especially for me. Now we have more harmony.
Knowledge is power!! I hope this helped shed some light on a common issue. Let me know if it did.
I’m a little snowed under right now as I have a deadline, but hopefully I’ll be able to write again next week and ja ja eventually I’ll write the about the travels.
Till then, wishing you a harmonious magical week.
Lots of love,
ps. Join my community and receive the EMPOWER guide for processing emotion.